Weather of Note

As far as the Northeastern United States is concerned, today may be the last gasp of a record-hot, ninety-degree-plus summer, and summer itself.  There’s been a change in the weather.

The Northern Hemisphere is beginning to tilt away from the Sun, and our Northern atmosphere starts to function less and less as a store of heat.  The temperature dropped seven degrees today, the warm weather pattern we have been locked into for most of the summer, is just not sustainable now.  The heat is dissipating, and the angled rays of sunshine aren’t rapidly replenishing the warmth as felt earlier.  9/2/22.

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Half Hollow Hills Personal Weather Station

Weather station display including wind speed, barometer, and indoor as well as outdoor temperatures.

Not quite farmer grade, but I am not a farmer.  This is an Ambient Weather personal weather station (a PWS; several more data, and graph, screens are not displayed here).  I believe Davis Instruments serves the farming market segment, and its price point.  La Crosse et al serves the lower-priced market segment.

Outdoor sensor itself.

Here is The Other Letter, Half Hollow Hills, Long Island, Ambient Weather PWS (personal weather station).  This is hosted by Wunderground, the Weather Underground, a Weather Channel, and IBM company.  My station has a hook up with the PWS manufacturer’s website as well.

[I changed the address to the library, because blogs inevitably attract groupies, especially WX groupies (WX means weather to the pros).  I hope my address spoofing doesn’t cause any difficulty with the bibliophile management.]  6/18/22...

Here is a quick primer on meteorology, that is, the science of weather, and its forecasting.

Winds from the North portend colder temperatures; from the South, warmer temps.  Weather vanes point out wind direction, and make for simple, but valuable, forecast tools.

Cold fronts are cold air masses pushing through warmer air.  Warm fronts are the opposite, moist, warm air pushes through cold air.  Both fronts have precipitation as the frontal boundary condenses moisture as rain, snow, or both.

Long Island, and probably much of the Northeastern United States, averages one inch of rain per week.  During any year, we get nearly 52 inches of rain.

Depending on temperature, and thus snow fluffiness, an inch of rain equates to approximately ten inches of snow.  It can be too cold to snow.  When there isn’t warmth to evaporate H2O, or water, into the air, it is too dry to produce snowflakes.

A barometric reading of greater than thirty inches of mercury signifies fair weather; below thirty inches generally means stormy weather is brewing; below twenty-nine inches, and near historically-turbulent weather is heading our way.  Regional, barometic-pressure differences, or gradients, are indicated by gusty winds.

Barometric pressure can either be measured absolutely, or relative to a benchmark, sea level pressure.  Absolute pressure is lower than relative sea level pressure, because of higher elevation.  The air is thinner further above sea level.

A fixed increment is added to absolute pressure, so it can be compared to any pressure at any elevation.  The increment can be found by computing the difference with nearby standard relative pressure of similar altitude, like readings found on the National Weather Service.


Celebrity Meteorologist Chitter-Chatter

Melissa and I don’t talk so much these days.  Okay, truth be told, she doesn’t know me from Adam, yet my Dad and I have followed her career for three years.  Before Dad passed on, she was our favorite weathercaster, Wednesday to Sunday, 4pm to midnight (her schedule was never announced, but we deduced it).  As far as Dad and I were concerned, Melissa was (and is) the draw, the consummate pro, at Accuweather.

It’s always difficult to say if she’s on-air live though, or a recording.  This is one of the biggest secrets in all of “live” cable television.  Mostly, I think we see a recording.  Apparently, Ms. Constanzer reads her weather copy for fifteen minutes, does fifteen minutes of on-air broadcasting, then goes home to take care of her kid.  I bet that’s exactly it.

Not only could she be taped (watch it, guys), with the “miracle” of blue screen, Melissa could very well be filming her weather reports from the convenience of her living room.  We just don’t know, do we?  Or do we?

Given that Melissa does use blue screen, she needs to be sure her attire isn’t the same color as the blue masking.  When this happens, and it has happened more than once, the only thing we see of Ms. Constanzer is her face, her décolletage, as well as her calves and ankles.  The rest is see-through weather map.  She looks like a technicolor ghost.

There is rumor running ’round that most Melissa weathercasts are of her blue-screened in her bathrobe, and that she’ll only make the commute to the weather bunker when a category 4 or more hurricane is brewing.  At this point, the tenor changes, and she jumps into action, getting interviews with her chief meteorologist, and with the guy on the street buffeted by gale-force winds, bracing himself with a lamp post.

To wit, I hear Melissa whispering in the studio, during a rebroadcast: “Hey, rodent, I am live, in the studio broadcasting my little heart out, and more often than you think.  This isn’t a half hour stint, a half-hour side gig.  Dig?  I appreciate fan support but I really do not feel you are backing my team, my cause.  Dig?...”

Regardless of how Ms. Constanzer is practicing her profession, she has really distinguished herself in the competitive world of storm casting, and also as being the late-night patron saint for the heartbroken.  Melissa makes one wonder if a Netflix subscription is really necessary, she alone can make for a pleasant evening.

Ms. Constanzer does wear a wedding ring, but that only means try harder for her attentions, doesn’t it?  Okay, it means game over, yet some recognizable women get so much attention, they flash a faux engagement ring to ward away pretenders to the throne.

Have you noticed that Melissa Constanzer is not broadcasting during her usual hours on Accuweather?  She was on vacation, but she’s not yet back fulltime.  Is she job shopping?  Is she thinking of a lateral move to archrival The Weather Channel, or to smart, upstart, maverick, Weather Nation?  We all know that meteorology employment is crazier than the weather.

Ms. Constanzer is a Certified Broadcast Meteorologist (CBM), certified by the American Meteorological Society.  Weather Nation displays the insignia of those earning the designation when the broadcast meteorologist is on-air, but Accuweather does not.  Here is the complete list of those earning the AMS distinction.  Her colleague at Accuweather, Jessica Pash, is also AMS-certified.

Ms. Constanzer is a fan-favorite of many watching Accuweather, if not most.  Melissa’s easy on the eyes, and sounds good as she breezily makes sense of weather complexity.

From what I can gather, Melissa isn’t married.  Any woman with a presence on national television can have her choice of partner.  Most likely, she is looking over top-end profiles of an ultra dating service like Guys with Money™.

Expect your favorite meteorologist to go to the highest bidder, such as: A captain of industry; Chief of Surgery at a Boston university hospital (don’t leave out Harvard); or considering her career emphasis, astronauts get Melissa’s attention as well.  While less lucrative, space-traveler nuptuals are still a feather in any meteorlogist-girl’s bonnet.

Most evenings, Ms. Constanzer gets hit on by her fellow, guy weathercasters.  She drives them off with a combination of assertiveness, and physical retaliation.  Remember when she was on location, installing a weather station?  When her coworker wouldn’t accept his advances being rejected, she went at him with a ten-foot aluminum pole?  Remember that one?  That episode, and that former coworker?

Tonight, Melissa wore a dress that had a zipper up the side that dangled.  This did not seem fit for national TV.  I get the impression that she has to skimp on her wardrobe, because Accuweather management doesn’t pay her enough.  Die-hard fans can initiate an email campaign so she is paid what she’s worth, which she isn’t getting now.  Let’s work on this, show her we care.  8/05/22...

I haven’t had a chance to ask her about her future prospects as we’ve both been very busy.  Melissa is great with (already born) child, and I, Jake Cassady, well, I am negotiating a leveraged buyout with Goldman Sachs and a mystery multi-billionaire.

For crissakes, not Elon Musk, I am not interested in any white knight play for all my future Pulitzer content.  He obviously punted, dropped the ball, with Twitter, so I told my banker at Sachs, Musk should find some other blog to take on The New York Times.  (Did you know that The Times has over a thousand correspondents?  And over half are working on new angles to COVID-19 stories.)

A “leveraged” buyout — I’m talking borrowed money, dig? — because any IPO, initial public offfering, will go sky high — billionaires do not have the resources to contain Wall Street’s future enthusiasm for my property.

(Okay, this may be a lame bid for a call out, she is likely married, and not a reader here; but still, I would hope that she appreciates the fan sentiment.  Ms. Constanzer won’t completely win my heart over though, until she wears a knee-high hemline, white dress, with a red, maple leaf emblazoned across her chest...)

Melissa is a lovely woman, but she’s silver to class president gold.

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